we're back with more of "today" on a thursday morning, the 6th day of december 2012. pretty, but chilly day here in the northeast. this doesn't seem to bother the people who have gathered on the plaza. we're happy about that. we've joined them. i'm matt lauer along with savannah gurthrie, al roker, and mr. willie geist. we have roused hoda kotb a little early this morning. >> there we go. >> she's been up a little late. we should mention that. and among the topics hoda will be weighing in, the grammy nominees. also ahead, if you have an idea for a new product but you're not sure how to get

started, we'll ask our friend solei moon frey. they actually had an idea, put it together, made it work despite the hectic family schedules too. and we've got gift ideas for women with style. everything you need from beauty products to fashion accessories, all for $100 or less. >> that sounds good. as parents, i think we all agree we make judgment calls every day. how about disciplining someone else's kid. maybe someone's over for a play date. do you impose your values and rules on that child? how about sharing family financial problems with your own children. we'll tackle some of those questions with real moms just ahead. but first, turn to your left a little bit, we have pat moynahan here, the front man for the grammy winning band train and also served as our hollywood elf a little while ago. >> good morning. >> before we talk about train, talk to me about this event you went to last night. >> yeah, last night we did like more of a bring attention to sea

bright, new jersey. you can go to seabrightrising.org to donate. that place has been really leveled. 100% of the businesses are gone because of hurricane sandy, and also 70% to 80% of the residents cannot come home. so they're just trying to do their best to just get it back up and running and we're just trying to bring attention to it. >> you're nice to do that. >> we understand with a fan video, actually, that led to you getting involved. >> yeah, a girl named charlotte who is a 10-year-old girl from new jersey and, you know, new jersey, new york, huge parts of our lives as musicians that have given us this chance. so we owe it to them. >> doing great work. meanwhile, your career, man, you guys are doing incredibly well. you really are. >> welm, we're pretty amazing. >> that's what happens. >> you do say so yourself. it's always good to have you

here, pat. >> always good to be here. >> all right. have a good holiday. mr. roker, we'll have much more ahead, but first, let's go inside, natalie's got a check of the headlines. u.s. officials tell nbc news that the syrian military is prepared to use chemical weapons against its own people as president assad's regime is on the brink of collapse amid that country's civil war. the syrian military has loaded precursor chemicals for deadly nerve gas into bombs and they're now awaiting final orders from president assad. it's a high-stakes game of chicken on capitol hill as lawmakers on both sides of the aisle are standing their ground on the plans to avoid the so-called fiscal cliff. treasury secretary tim geithner says the administration will allow the nation to be slammed by tax hikes and spending cuts in the new year if the republicans do not agree to raise taxes on wealthy americans. the gop slammed geithner's comments as, quote, irresponsible. a new york city homeless man has been charged with

second-degree murder in the death of a man pushed in front of a subway train. 30-year-old naeem davis being held without bail. he has several prior arrests and served two years in prison for robbery. on wednesday, the victim's family spoke out. his daughter said she wishes someone would've helped her father off the tracks, but said, quote, what's done is done. a candle light vigil in evansdale, iowa. on wednesday, hunters discovered two bodies that are believed to be missing cousins 11-year-old lyric cook and 9-year-old elizabeth collins. they were last seen in july. they disappeared while riding their bikes. kate, the duchess of cambridge has left the hospital this morning, the pregnant wife of prince william had been receiving treatment since monday for a rare form of extreme morning sickness. kate now heads to kensington palace to rest. and a new study out of oxford recommends that breast cancer patients who use the drug tomoxifin stay on it twice as long as doctors recommend.

>> reporter: the studies should improve the outlook for hundreds of thousands of breast cancer survivors, including emily who takes a common estrogen blocking drug. researchers found that women who take tamoxifen for five years had a third less chance of dying from the disease. but the risk was cut in half if they took the drug for ten. >> it's significant. it couldn't be a chance finding. the study had nearly 7,000 women from 36 countries. and so it's based on big numbers. >> reporter: 3/4 of women with breast cancer, her tumor was estrogen positive, meaning iis fueled by the female hormone. after surgery and radiation, doctors put her on tamoxifen to reduce the chances of the cancer coming back. in the united states, women past menopause usually get more powerful inhibitors, but the doctors say the results mean that all women with estrogen positive tumors should probably be getting some drug for at least ten years.

she is fine with her treatment continuing. >> cancer is something i think about every day and just keep taking it would be fine with me. >> tamoxifen has possible side effects from hot flashes to blood clots and increased risk in endometrio cancer. for today, nbc news, san antonio. and power to the pedestrian. if you're in brazil and you stop your car in a crosswalk, you're going to get a surprise from the local gym. keeps them in shape, keeps their friends in the clear, and might even scare the driver into watching those white lines. no crossing the crosswalk there. it's now six minutes after the hour. let's go back out to al with a check of the weather. i bet they can parallel park better than willie geist. >> we know that. that's for sure. we've got a future parallel

parkers here. they've all come down to see the tree and enjoy the weather. you having a nice day? >> yes! >> all right. let's check your weather. see what we've got going on for you. we see we've got wet weather in the pacific northwest, a frontal system bringing icy conditions in the upper midwest, some rainmaking its way through the mid-mississippi river valley, wet weather along the eastern florida coast in the southeastern atlantic coast. rain showers in the central great lakes and into the central rockies. look for fog along the gulf coast, and the southern california coastline, as well. >> good morning. we will see plenty of sunshine today. high temperature this afternoon, a few degrees below average.

all right. now to today's "take 3," where we take on stories that have us and you talking and look who's here. >> who? >> hoda kotb. >> wow. >> in an hour early. what was it like? >> it was a little weird. i didn't know there was a show before ours. hey. >> all these hours before 10:00 a.m. >> no one told us. >> you have to be sober for all of them. >> we're boozing upstairs. >> you didn't bring us any wine. isn't that a courtesy. >> there's a bottle, but we're saving it. willie's going to co-host with me at 10:00. >> i'm kathie lee's understudy. playing the role today. our first take this morning. grammy nominee, hoda huge music fan, we know, painfully some days as she sings on the air.

a handful of artists got the most nomination at six, kanye west, jay-z, fun, frank ocean, kind of a newcomer on the scene, blew up this year, and mumford and sons. >> in some regards. >> favorite band, hoda kotb. >> well, i like fun. i kind of just got on to them. but all of the bands are eclectic a little bit, aren't they? i like song of the year. >> we just had -- put that up again. the song is -- >> very important. >> "call me maybe's" on there. >> we're excited about that. how about where is -- wait a second, where's the taylor swift song? we are never ever -- >> gonna nominate that song. >> drives her crazy. >> i don't like it. >> i liked it. >> that is not a good song. >> that gets in your brain. >> exactly. >> do you like it? >> i love "call me maybe."

>> you just alienated about 25 million people. >> i know, sorry. >> it was nominated, right? >> not in that category. >> so those who were not nominated, though, interesting, i guess, no justin bieber. >> no bieber. no one direction. thought they might get a best new artist kind of thing. do we have a favorite song of the year? kelly clarkson "stronger," fun, "we are young." ♪ we are young >> that might be mine. ♪ whatever kills you makes you stronger ♪ >> that's a great like -- >> i'm excited they nominated the theme to the a-team. >> that's right. >> oh, it's not the -- >> it's a little more folksy sounding, more british. >> oh, shucks. >> i would vote for that one. i love the a-team theme. >> these men promptly escaped

from a maximum security stock aid to the los angeles underground, wanted by the government, they survived as soldiers of fortune, if you have a problem, if no one else can help, if you can find them, maybe you can hire the a-team. >> wow. >> thanks, rain man, appreciate it. that was impressive. that was oddly impressive. let's go to take two. i know you talked about it for a second. this is the starbucks card. okay. but it's not any card. it's the steel card. costs you $450. >> what? >> and gets you $400 worth of credit at starbucks, they say it costs $50 just to produce the thing. >> i'm sure it does. just like it takes them $7 to make a cup of coffee. >> and it affords you certain privileges. >> what else do you get? >> you get gold status, which means you start to get free products if you buy enough. you know how it is. >> so it's a membership with privileges. >> we took our show to seattle

once that starbucks serves vino. >> it's always back to the wine. >> no, i'm giving you information for this hour. >> you have the blue steel card. >> let me ask you this, in defense of the product -- in defense of the card, if you drink starbucks every single day, this covers you for half a year. >> ten weeks. well, if you do a latte a day -- >> did you do the math? you're so smart. >> speaking of rain man. >> what's the conclusion? what do you get? >> ten weeks of coffee, that's not enough. >> that's what the conclusion is. >> and i want the other $50 too. >> yes. >> you're spending the money anyway and get all the privileges. >> oh, the privileges. >> that's fantastic. the privileges. >> and did i -- >> look at our pearl lined toilet because you have the steel card. >> you do impress the ladies when you have that card, though.

>> do you really, though? >> if you're taking your date to starbucks. >> all right. we've got to get to our take three because we have a special guest on the phone. we've seen a lot of these around the holidays where people light up the house and put music with it. let's watch this from idaho. >> oh, my god. >> is the music emanating from the home? >> no, it's on a radio station. >> you just see the lights. you don't hear it. >> the house is on risers so it bounces up and down. >> we've got these guys oen the phone. from idaho, joining us now, scott and his son zach. good morning. >> good morning. >> how is the neighborhood feeling? >> well, most of our neighbors don't mind, but a couple do.

>> but the music is played through a car radio. you don't hear it in the neighborhood, right? >> yeah, we have a short-range transmitter hooked up to my computer that will transmit it about 1/2 a mile. >> you do this for a good cause though, right? >> what is you're asking to do when people come to the house. >> we do it for the meridian food bank. >> so you're asking people to bring food when they come to view the lights, the light show. >> yeah. >> we think it's cool. >> talk to me real quick. electric bill this month. what are you looking at? >> well, we are on level pay for the whole year. so we don't get a huge bill in december. >> you run an extension cord to your neighbor's house, right? >> that's the way to do it. >> all right, scott and zach, the christmas lighthouse in iowa.

>> take it easy. >> don't pull an anderson cooper, okay? >> he got lit up -- >> no, he's a lightweight. it's embarrassing. up next, solei moon frey on how moms start a business and raise a family. ♪ just put a little bit of yourself ♪ ♪ in everything you do [ female announcer ] add your own ingredients to hamburger helper for a fresh take on a quick, delicious meal.

it's one box with hundreds of possibilities. some aerosols may just mix with them. can febreze really remove them? we asked real people what they thought. take a deep breath for me. describe the smell. it's very pleasant. fresh. some kind of flower maybe? remove the blindfold... awww, oh yuck! i didn't smell any of that! febreze air effects doesn't mix, it actually removes odors. [ laughs ] wow, that's incredible. just another way febreze helps you breathe happy.

[ male announcer ] yep, there's 8 layers of whole grain fiber in those mini-wheats® biscuits... to help keep you full... ♪ 45 bushels of wheat on the farm. 45 bushels of wheat! ♪ ...all morning long. there's a big breakfast... [ mini ] yeehaw! ...in those fun little biscuits.

[ female announcer ] nature valley granola bars, rich dark chocolate, toasted oats. perfect combinations of nature's delicious ingredients, from nature valley. ♪ nature valley granola bars, nature at its most delicious. ♪ this morning on "today's" moms, we reached out online and found three moms busy raising their families while creating their own businesses. soleil moon frye is here to tell us about them. good morning. >> hi. >> you got a lot of entries. >> yes, we had so many people on "today" and moon frye come on and share their stories. it was incredible. very excited. this is an amazing woman who has the online and gift registry.

>> christy taylor, mother of three children from gainesville, florida, is one. tell us what you started. >> well, it was an e ppiphany a few years ago. i was in the toy store along with gifts to purchase, and looked for a digital solution and didn't find one. so -- >> show her how it works. >> it's called -- tell me how it works. >> it's a website and a mobile app. the website has a tool bar feature that you add to your browser any time that you're surfing the internet, simply click add to monkey wish. >> so you create -- >> any time you're on any other website like toys "r" us, click -- >> you're like this is what i want. >> now, you're a mom of three. you had no technology experience really whatsoever. so how did you start doing this? >> it was very scary.

i can't lie about that. but it was just something that i was passionate about and did a lot of homework and research, and just went for it. >> can you show her how cool it is? when you actually. how amazing -- >> it's a mobile app. you click on this. >> you simply scan any bar code. >> scan it. >> and then it will give you the list of all the places that you can find it. >> that's exactly right. >> it's fantastic. >> and it's not necessarily retail affiliated, every retailer in the whole wide world that has that item available. >> monkeywish.com. that's brilliant. well done. >> i love this -- >> this is another one i'm in love with this, as well. mother of four children -- sorry, i'm going to stand right here. mother of four children ands sonia, you have a great story. mother of four. and you founded this incredible company that designs these beautiful clothing for children. tell me what was the inspiration behind them. >> such a big family. >> to talk about my clothes is

to talk about where i'm from. i was part of a military family. my mom and dad were stationed in puerto rico. so i was born in puerto rico, raised in hawaii, my dad's black, mom is mexican, and my husband's korean. so we just have culture. so what i did was i designed clothes. growing up, there weren't really kids like me. but now our kids are like these global citizens. so i just wanted to celebrate the different cultures. so i'll grab fun fabrics and each one will come with a tag that kind of explains where it's from. >> and what's the name of your clothing line? >> mixed up clothing. >> look how colorful and bright they are. >> let's get over to our last one, soleil. finally, we have casey. soleil you actually -- >> casey wrote in to me. i was so excited to hear from you. and she has little artsy. and tell us about it. when you look at these kids' artwork, don't you want to hang it? >> i can't believe this is created by a child. >> i know.

well, i am an artist and i love kids. i have a huge heart for people, and it was just the perfect combination to open an art studio in dallas with my team family. >> the kids come in and you kind of tell them how to create masterpieces like this one, right? >> take them step by step. and we want to focus on the process not the product. we want them to be inspired and have fun and feel safe and build their confidence but not worry so much about the end result -- >> i would just display this in my home. this is fantastic. ladies, to all of you, beautiful creations, great job. really, really inspiring. >> if anyone can be a momtrepneur. >> we're become right after this. nine days till christmas

and eddy said the toys might not be ready! eddy? the elf! ♪ [ radio announcer ] today's forecast: it's snowing snowballs and snow bricks out there... seven more days and it's snowing snow bricks! oh, well, be careful! [ radio announcer ] only two days to go, and several of the elves were tossed around when they tried to wrap a pony. [ female announcer ] the keepsake countdown ornament. build anticipation every day till christmas. elves tried to wrap a pony! of green giant vegetables it's easy to eat like a giant... ♪ and feel like a green giant.

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with a variety of tastes and textures only chex mix is a bag of interesting. just ahead, improving your man style. you guys don't need this. >> after your local news and weather. [ doorbell rings ] ♪ [ female announcer ] just for these hectic holidays, mccafé brings you rich peppermint mocha and peppermint hot chocolate. the simple joy of unwinding. has oats that can help lower cholesterol? and it tastes good? sure does!

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>> this is wbal-tv 11 news today in baltimore. >> sun is out today for a change. temperatures start out a little bit colder. we started in the 20's and 30's. most of the cloudiness will be to the north and northwest. fair weather is going to rule today, but lots of sunshine, but chillier. temperat

have you ever been on a road trip? >> well, i go on a lot of road trips with my husband. >> you do? >> yeah, we bought a truck with a bench seat so you can sit next to each other. >> that's the legendary barbara streisand. >> can you imagine you're driving along the interstate and there's james brolin and -- >> barbara talking about how she likes spending time with her husband. she sat down with savannah to talk about everything from her new movie, happens to be all about hitting the road and much, much more. we'll have that for you tomorrow on "today." i'm willie geist along with al roker and natalie morales. coming up this morning, let's face it, some guys need a little fashion help. this morning, the folks at "gq"

to give you stylish tips to dress up your guy to go to hollywood parties. >> from stylish guys to stylish women in their lives, jewelry, clothes, to beauty products. everything you need to know gifts she'll love for $100 or less. as a parent, you're trying to figure out things as you go. we've got good advice from real moms on when is it okay to share bad news with your kids or maybe to say something a little more negative about them, as well. we are so overcoddling with our kids sometimes. >> there's another good one in there about disciplining other kids. if it's your house, handle that situation. >> my house, my rules. >> i'm with you on that. >> i'm with you on that too. >> your rules for weather. >> weather does rule. first of all for today, sunny skies along the east coast, but chillier than usual. we're looking at wet weather, icy conditions in the northern great lakes. expect more wet weather in the pacific northwest. sunny skies in the gulf coast, with fog along the texas

coastline. tomorrow, more snow in the western plains. into interior sections of pennsylvania. plenty of sunshine and mild through the southwest. look for some hit and miss showers down through >> good morning. a big change temperature-wise today. it will be a quiet day. a mixture of sun and clouds. that's your latest weather. and as you know, we're in the middle of our 19th annual toy drive. so far it has been a terrific success. >> we've already sent nearly $15 million worth of gifts to kids across the country. and this morning's donations are heading to family services in

washington, d.c. and of course, we couldn't do it without you, our viewers, and companies. good morning, sharon. great to have you with us. what? six years now? >> six years we've been providing products for the toy drive. >> and stride right does such an amazing job to help us out. tell us what you're giving us in terms of donations. >> over $7 million to the "today" show foundation and over the past six years we've given over $12 million. so that's really, you know, across the globe to all children in need for new products which is something that's very important, as well. >> you've got the light-up shoes, which is really what all any kid wants or needs. in my experience. >> absolutely. and as we were talking about a little earlier, even adults want light-up shoes. these shoes are a lot of fun. they're "star wars" shoes that allows you to be the jedi. >> oh. >> good guy, bad guy.

>> how you feel that day. you decide whether you're a good guy or bad guy. which i know not all little boys are always the good guy. >> or little girls. >> or girls, thank you so much, al. we are so pleased to be able to work with this organization. and we also work with a fantastic organization called kids in distress situations to ensure we get all of these new products and needs to kids around the globe. >> so people can go online and find out about that, as well? >> well, yes, in fact, today at strideright.com, we're going to be helping victims of hurricane sandy in giving away a pair of crib shoes for everyone who goes online up to $100,000. >> great, sharon. thank you so much. >> we're pleased to be able to do it. >> and if you want to donate to the toy drive, head online to today.com. coming up next, tweaking your man's style for the holidays right after this. i love the holidays. and with my bankamericard cash rewards credit card, i love 'em even more.

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fruit blends and their unique taste combinations. like peach/raspberry. with one flavor in the granola bunch and one on the flake. two flavors. in harmony. honey bunches of oats. make your day bunches better. get to sears one day sale this saturday, with friday preview. get jeans for the family for $14.99. and save up to 50% off all mechanics tool sets. plus, members can get an extra $10 in points. this is how to gift. this is sears. time for citi price rewind. because your daughter really wants that pink castle thing. and you really don't want to pay more than you have to. only citi price rewind automatically searches for the lowest price. and if it finds one, you get refunded the difference. just use your citi card and register your purchase online. have a super sparkly day! ok. [ male announcer ] now all you need is a magic carriage. citi price rewind. start saving at citi.com/pricerewind. citi price rewind. dazzler, on. wow! dirt dazzlers let me clean and work out at the same time.

shame, shame, shame. ooh, slippery, ooh! uh, let's ditch the cha-chas and get down to business. pine sol - a real clean. no gimmicks. ♪ this morning on "today's style." how to upgrade your man's style. whether you're going to a party or dinner with the in-laws. some simple tweaks that can do the trick. will, good to see you, man. >> good to see you too, will. >> we're going to show a before picture of our model dallas here. this is what he was thinking of wearing to the in-laws, to which you say. >> yeah, maybe not. dallas just got through six months of living in hawaii surfing. he's got the full sleeve of arm tattoos to show for it. we're thinking, you know, maybe there's a way to cover that up but still be yourself. >> tell us what you did with him to hide the sleeves. >> a plaid shirt and cardigan by

tommy hilfiger. and rather than a blazer which can be too dressy, but you want to look nice. this way when you're at dinner with grandma, you're hiding the tattoos, but also looking like himself. >> maybe a good time to hide them just the first time over. $70 for the shirt, $60 for the pants, and the cardigan about $150. >> that's right. >> let's move to the cocktail parties around the holidays. this is what he wanted to wear to the holiday cocktail party. break this down for us. >> yeah, this is amos, he writes for "gq" and the office cocktail look, you know, amos has got really laid back style, so we thought we'd dress him up a little bit. >> here's the before. what's he going for here? >> a shirt with a sweater and pair of jeans. but we think for the office holiday party, you want to be both office appropriate and party appropriate. there's a conservative business suit from h & m, paired with a pink dress shirt and polka dot

tie. and you go one from the other without changing. >> that's the only way to be. let's go to new year's eve. do you go black tie on new year's eve? is that the move? >> a lot of my guys do. they all get dressed up on new year's eve. >> this is jason -- >> yeah. this is jason. >> let's look at what he wanted to wear out for new year's eve. >> jason owns his own tuxedo, which we applaud, but we felt it needed an update. we got one for him from express. comes in at under $500 and fits him much better. the key, we think, if you want to knock your date's socks off on new year's eve, you should own your own tux that's been tailored for you rather than renting, which always gets you a baggy fit. >> by the way, jason's killing that tuxedo right now. what did that cost him? >> $500 for the tux and paired with a white dress shirt. a dress shirt that you wear for the office. >> okay. >> that's kind of the slim, modern way to do it. >> looking good. thanks, man. >> thanks, will.

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with your red card get an extra 5% off our everyday low prices... plus free shipping. ♪ "today's" holiday gift guide is brought to you by target. dream big, save bigger. ♪ all i want for christmas is you ♪ >> this morning on "today's" holiday gift guide, stylish gifts for the women in your life. they're all $100. very good to see you. >> thanks for having me. >> a leather bomber, you say this is a safe bet fashion wise for women. >> this is great. we've searched high and low for the best gift for women and, you know, we've got them, everything you need from the techie to the fashionista. >> for $100 or less. >> exactly. >> this is less than $100? >> it is. it's $85, it's where motorcycle meets chic.

>> and pantone says green is the color next year. >> exactly. hours ago they announced that. now we've got this wonderful on-trend super, super forward look and, you know, we've seen a lot of colored leather in the fall and that's going to be the same case going forward. this is by ruby and jenna. >> down is usually big and bulky. >> this is very lightweight, at the same time it's very stylish. comes in 20 different colors. and you know, when you want to tote it around, you can use this cute sack. only $70. >> that's a good deal. now for the techie female in your life, you've got great ipad covers. >> right. it's a nice departure. it's different from that typical very hard case. it's from armand. >> a lot of people want to play records. >> many collect them. and this plays three different sizes. you can tote it around, play deejay at home and it's only $85. >> now jewelry?

>> yes, these are cuffs all by stella and dot. a cuff is something you can give to a woman -- >> how do you know? jewelry is an individual thing. >> it is. but there's something for everyone whether the lady is very mod, whether she likes more botanical inspired fashion. there's plenty to choose from. these two are only $32, and at that price, she can do the wonder woman look. >> bag or clutch? >> yes, the clutch, this is a digital jewel print. so it's very kaleidoscopic. and these are box clutches from zara. >> and something i'm not worried about is the little hair clip things. >> yeah, it's a tiny mini styler. even at that size, she can fit it in her purse, you don't sacrifice on the power, heats up to 400 degrees. >> a lot of nail polish. >> women love to experiment and accessori accessorize. >> is the gel thing still hot? >> yeah. still hot. but this is for the woman on the

go. you get 14 polishes for $10. this is from opi, $25 for these ten minis. and then here you get a mini caviar bar. you know, it's a very hot trend right now where you can make your nails look 3d by dropping tiny beads on them. >> great ideas. thanks so much. >> thank you. and still ahead, when is it okay to discipline somebody else's kids? some tricky parenting situations. but first, this is "today" on nbc.

♪ catching my breath letting it go ♪ >> back now with "when is it okay to." as parents, we have to make tough calls when it comes to kids. we've assembled a group of moms to tackle the best way to handle swal situations. dr. lisa thornton is a

pediatrician and soleil moon frye is back with us. ladies, good morning. >> good morning. >> good morning. >> let's get to it. a lot of good topics to talk about. first up, when is it okay to inform the children of financial troubles? now, this is that time of year people are out doling a lot of money, gifts and everything. kids may start to ask about this. let me ask you, dr. lisa first, what is your feeling about this? talking to kids about finances? >> well, i think any time's a great time to begin to help your children begin to be financially l literate. but don't scare your kids. if it's something minor like we cannot afford this particular item, i think that's fine to use those words. we can't afford it. because children can begin to understand there are certain things that our finances don't allow. but if it's something like a home foreclosure where you might be moving, children just need to know they are safe and the parents are going to protect them no matter what. >> good point. >> yeah. >> stacy, i know you had an experience where you were changing jobs and your son was asking about finances. >> he became obsessed with the

mortgage and how was i going to pay it. and he was 7 years old. i don't know where he got that word. >> got a good brain. >> but what i said is, we're going to be fine, honey, i'm looking for a job and i have savings. and that's when i introduced the idea of savings. i say you work, you put money away, don't worry about it. but i think a lot of parents are afraid to say that that they can't afford it and end up getting in situations where they're more stressed out, taking on extra hours. i think what we need to do is step back and really realize what kids really want. it's not stuff, it's a parent. >> that's true. >> great perspective. >> my husband said so, kids, we're going to be teaching about giving back because we went to india and they saw a whole other way of life. so we're going to rewrap your old gifts and they were totally into that idea. they seriously loved it. >> that is a great idea. >> and again, it's about them having that time with you. i didn't grow up with a lot of money, but i never felt like we didn't have a lot of money because we had the riches of each other. >> great points.

okay. let's get to the next topic. when is it okay to tell your children something negative about himself or herself? i think as parents, we always overcoddle. we sometimes tend to overpraise. let me start off with soleil. have you had this conversation? >> i am very honest with my girls. but i always try to also point out their good qualities. so when i'm talking to them about something, i have a first grader who has a lot of, you know, drama that goes on in school and -- >> sure. >> and a 4-year-old that's going through, oh, this is mine. and they're the most amazing girls, i love you guys, but we really try to talk about all the incredible qualities, how loving they are, compassion and kindness and at the same time here's things you can work on. i think just remember to also talk about all the good, beautiful qualities of them and that will help. >> here's things you can work on, right? >> or use examples of yourself. you can say i have this issue and that also -- >> that's a good way to go about it. >> i talk about my childhood a

lot. >> the rationale should be for your kids you're trying to help them build character and you want to tell them what kind of person you want them to grow up to be. any time you're giving correction to behavior or attitude it's because you want them to grow up and be a particular kind of person. i think they want to model that for you. >> i gave her an example of something i did as a kid and she got emotional about it because it made her to have to reflect. i think that's a great way of doing it is showing something from your own youth. >> it's important to give them a realistic sense of self. >> my son has adhd, which means there's a bunch of traveling sensory soothing habits that people call out and notice. and i said beware of it and know sometimes people don't like it. it's great that's who you are, though. >> sadly, you hear the music. we could talk -- but that means we are signaling for the next hour. just ahead, willie's going to fill in with hoda for kathie lee

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